ladyw1nter

halffizzbin:

ladyw1nter:

TEEN WOLF AU: They are all ingredients in a delicious bowl of minestrone. Stiles, the celery, and Derek, the onion, wont stop having decadent brothy sex.

For a moment there was only groans as they slid their fibrous limbs against each other.

“You’re so wet,” onion!Derek groans.

Stiles chokes out a laugh, tearing up from how good it was.

 #WHAT. YOU DARED ME #at least he’s not a yam 

YOU AND SAUCEFACTORY EITHER NEED TO BE GIVEN AWARDS OR INSTITUTIONALIZED I HAVE NOT DECIDED WHICH YET.

#sexy minestrone #Now I’m just hungry

What you don’t realize is that there’s also potatoes and zucchini and tomatoes and beans and cheese in there and it’s just, y’know a group orgy, and Scott just wants to have some savory peace and make sweet sweet love to his tomato-y love, and it’s not like he’s not sex positive but—

Honestly, potatoes don’t lean that way. There’s no honest reason why he’d end up in this sweaty mess with celery in any natural situation except apparently when all your best friends are in a Minestrone that’s how you roll.

Stiles’ ass bumps up against his and Scott elbows it off, “Dude, I love you, but keep it over on the other side of the bowl.”

Derek just smugly spread his onion smell everywhere and wrapped the celery up tighter, humping up into Stiles until the veggie was limp and falling apart.

Seriously, Scott thought, Gross.